Psychology

Psychology of Change: Second Part

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How to avoid the trap of stagnation?

The fear oriented Change

Psychologically, fears are the emotional reactions of change in the outer or inner environment of an individual. These are the irrational beliefs, that change will steal everything we are in possession of now. But in reality, there is no link of change and bad experience. Even people who fear change say after a long period of time that change was for their good. However, we are paralyzed by our fears, when we seek to change.

Although it is difficult to say that those who fear change will ever change their perspective of this process, however, change will make its own place in present or in future of such people. Here are some of the byproducts of fear oriented change;

Regret

You read it right, yes regret when we don’t change and change makes forcefully changes us. The first thing we experience is regret. Regret that we didn’t recognize this before when some people around us were adapting themselves to change we resisted change and persisted to remain the same.

We regret our inability to guess changes, the change will do to us. We also regret that avoiding change was just avoiding life. We would enjoy our life more if we would change when we first noticed the indications of change. However, crying over the split milk is useless and it makes us more regretting ourselves for wasting opportunities we had but now vanished.

Resentment

Resentment is the denial of ones responsibility in a situation and starting blaming others for one’s own short comings. People who resentfully say, “The life is unfair” or the government, or society or the boss and the list go on. The only fairness is that change doesn’t wait for anyone. So, it is better to accept ones drawbacks and then try to minimize them to achieve massive success.

Fear of loss

We fear that we will lose everything we have if we change. When change happens it really does as expected and we feel shame and guilt over it. If we willingly change our decisions, nothing will be lost. Even would be able to acquire more than what we have now. No loss will ever happen if we adapt ourselves to change as soon as we recognize change.

People who have an eye on new developments, researches and innovation in their field will never lose anything as compared to those who chose not to change, and wait for change to change their lives.

Fear of intimacy/ loneliness and isolation

Some people settled down in their relationships and their fear of intimacy is more than their fear of loin eating them alive. They lose the courage to ask someone out. Ask for someone’s hands for marriage or losing someone dear to them on cost of conflicts, fights, cheating and finally divorce or break up. Some of these people think that change makes them lonely and loneliness is avoided at every cost.

They are not interested in solitudes so they chose to live as they are now for years. They fear that intimate relationships are hard to build but if they think only of a while, their intimate relationships now were also a product of change too. So, there is no reason not changing relations doesn’t provide you emotional support and wellbeing.

Fear of poverty

Several surveys around the world have shown us that most of the people today are going to jobs they don’t like, or working for those they don’t like, but they don’t want to change because of the fear of poverty. They think that there is no job available in the market or there will be a lot struggle to acquire such a job in the future.

But reality is this that there are more than enough jobs in the global market. We have to search for our job. Those of us who have this type of fear when encounters change feel all types of bad emotions. Change is the only answer for this type of fear.

Fear of rejection

Perfectionists trap themselves in this fear. Rejection is basically the redirection of efforts we need to focus on. Psychologically, rejection has damaging impacts on our self-esteem, self-worth, and self-concept. It blurs future imaginations in self-doubts and willingness to quit. Most of us don’t change because of fear of rejection, which is just a waste of time and energy.

Fear of uncertainty/ unknown

This fear paralyzes us because we are not certain about change. What will be happening next we are not aware? It may be good and it may be bad. Our focus on bad makes every change bad. It prevents us to change.

Fear of criticism/ discrimination

Criticism and the negative social evaluation, discrimination is another factor makes us avoid change. Sometimes it looks like that we are just definitions of other peoples thinking and sayings. These words and thoughts don’t allow us to live fully. While the simple fact about criticism and discrimination is that it is only subjective evaluations of you by others, which may be right or wrong.

Fear of insecurity/Lack

Most of the world population prefers security over freedom. They avoid change because this is what they have learnt in their childhoods. Insecurity and lack is the opposite of abundance mentality, which says that, our universe is abundant in its resources. This fear of lack and insecurity further paralyzes us to stick to our current situations and not seeking change to change our conditions for betterment.

These are among those by-products of fear oriented change which makes it difficult to choose change over stagnation and security.

The bliss of this moment

We can’t enter the same river twice: nicely said by brilliant mind. Nor the water is same neither the person. This life is a gift given to us by nature and we can live it once. There is no chance to live this life twice, so, it is better to decide now. Either we want to live a life of contribution or life of regrets and despair. Life and nature are just processes of universe it clears up the old and favors the new.

All creativity and productiveness are for this life we are living right now. The past is dead and the future is doubtful we have just now, this moment. This is life itself. To avoid the trap of stagnation and life of misery we have to accept and enjoy the power of now and bless of this moment. My advice, to everyone, wants to live his life fully, “Change yourself before the change, changes you without your permission”. It is better to die in changing rather diying of boredom and stagnation.

Conclusion:

By above discussion we can conclude easily that there are many ways to accelerate this process. Both types of orientations have been given, that is; the positive ones, which should be done and the negative one, which should be avoided in order to succeed in life and change totally the life style you are living. The willingness to do so for better present and future we have to follow and try these techniques for betterment of our life and work.

What do you think, you can comment below..

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