Psychology of Change: Second Part
How to avoid the trap of stagnation?
The fear oriented change
Psychologically, fears are the emotional reactions of change in the outer or inner environment of an individual. These are the irrational beliefs that change will steal everything we have now. But in reality, there is no link between change and bad experience. Even people who fear change say after a long time that change was for their good. However, we are paralyzed by our fears when we seek to change.
Although it is difficult to say that those who fear change will ever change their perspective of this process, however, the change will make its place in the present or the future of such people. Here are some of the by-products of fear oriented change;
You read it right; yes, regret when we don’t change, and change makes forcefully change us. The first thing we experience is regret. Regret that we didn’t recognize this before when some people around us were adapting themselves to change, we resisted change and remained the same.
We regret our inability to guess changes; the change will do to us. We also regret that avoiding change was just avoiding life. We would enjoy our life more if we changed when we first noticed the indications of change. However, crying over spilled milk is useless, and it makes us more regretting ourselves for wasting opportunities we had but now vanished.
Resentment is the denial of one’s responsibility in a situation and starts blaming others for one’s shortcomings. People who resentfully say, “The life is unfair” or the government, society or the boss, and the list go on. The only fairness is that change doesn’t wait for anyone. It is better to accept one’s drawbacks and then try to minimize them to achieve massive success.
Fear of loss
We fear that we will lose everything we have if we change. When change happens, it does as expected, and we feel shame and guilt over it. If we willingly change our decisions, nothing will be lost. We even would be able to acquire more than what we have now. No loss will ever happen if we adapt ourselves to change as soon as we recognize the change.
People who have an eye on new developments, research, and innovation in their field will never lose anything compared to those who chose not to change and wait for change to change their lives.
Fear of intimacy/ loneliness and isolation
Some people settled down in their relationships, and their fear of intimacy is more than their fear of loin eating them alive. They lose the courage to ask someone out. Ask for someone’s hands for marriage or losing someone dear to them on the cost of conflicts, fights, cheating, and finally, divorce or break up. Some of these people think that change makes them lonely, and loneliness is avoided at every cost.
They are not interested in solitudes, so they chose to live as they are now for years. They fear that intimate relationships are hard to build, but if they think only of a while, their close relationships are also a product of change. So, there is no reason not changing relations doesn’t provide you emotional support and wellbeing.
Fear of poverty
Several surveys worldwide have shown us that most people today are going to jobs they don’t like or working for those they don’t like, but they don’t want to change because of the fear of poverty. They think that there is no job available in the market, or there will be a lot of struggle to acquire such a career in the future.
But the reality is that there are more than enough jobs in the global market. We have to search for our appointment. Those of us who have this type of fear when encounters change feel various kinds of destructive emotions. Change is the only answer to this type of anxiety.
Fear of rejection
Perfectionists trap themselves in this fear. Rejection is the redirection of efforts we need to focus on. Psychologically, rejection has damaging impacts on our self-esteem, self-worth, and self-concept. It blurs future imaginations in self-doubts and willingness to quit. Most of us don’t change because of a fear of rejection, just a waste of time and energy.
Fear of uncertainty/ unknown
This fear paralyzes us because we are not sure about the change. What will be happening next we are not aware of? It may be useful, and it may be harmful. Our focus on bad makes every change terrible. It prevents us from changing.
Fear of criticism/ discrimination
Criticism and negative social evaluation, discrimination is another factor that makes us avoid change. Sometimes it looks like that we are just definitions of other peoples thinking and sayings. These words and thoughts don’t allow us to live fully. Simultaneously, the simple fact about criticism and discrimination is that it is only subjective evaluations of you by others, which may be right or wrong.
Fear of insecurity/Lack
Most of the world population prefers security over freedom. They avoid change because this is what they have learned in their childhoods. Insecurity and lack are the opposite of abundance mentality, which says that our universe is abundant in its resources. This fear of lack and insecurity further paralyzes us to stick to our current situations and not seek change to change our betterment conditions.
These are among those by-products of fear-oriented change, making it challenging to choose growth over stagnation and security.
The bliss of this moment
We can’t enter the same river twice: nicely said my brilliant mind. Nor the water is the same neither the person. This life is a gift given to us by nature, and we can live it once. There is no chance to live this life twice, so it is better to decide now. Either we want to live a life of contribution or a life of regrets and despair. Life and nature are just processes of the universe; it clears up the old and favors the new.
All creativity and productiveness are for this life we are living right now. The past is dead, and the future is doubtful we have just now, this moment. This is life itself. To avoid the trap of stagnation and a life of misery, we have to accept and enjoy the power of now and bless this moment. My advice to everyone wants to live his life fully, “Change yourself before the change, changes you without your permission.” It is better to die in changing rather than dying of boredom and stagnation.
With the above discussion, we can conclude that there are many ways to accelerate this process. Both types of orientations have been given: the positive ones, which should be done, and the negative ones, which should be avoided to succeed in life and change the lifestyle you live in. The willingness to do so for better present and future we have to follow and try these techniques to better our lives and work.
What do you think? You can comment below.