How to handle toxic people and their traps
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How to handle toxic people and their traps

Toxic people

How to handle toxic people and their traps? The most common people ask their counselors, teachers, parents, and leaders. Yet very little is known about the subject.

Most of you even don’t know what these toxic people are and how to identify them. In this post, I am going to tell you about them and their traps and how to handle them and avoid their traps.

Toxic people are those people who literally suck your soul out and make you feel bad about yourself to feel good about themselves. These are people who are the real nightmares for those who are not toxic themselves.

How to Identify them

Identification of toxic people is not easy because they manage themselves so intelligently that sometimes you wonder why the hell you are living with such psycho or sociopaths next doors.

This list is lengthy but I will try to mention just a few which literally and metaphorically sucks your soul if you didn’t do what it takes to handle them with emotional and social intelligence.

Here we go in order of intensity and a ladder to the next level:

The Narcissists

You may know or don’t know about these centers of attention creatures in constant search for admiration, selfishness, and victims of their torture if not physically then psychologically.

The Paranoids

The real nightmare for anyone close either physically, emotionally or socially. They don’t trust anyone and in reality, they don’t trust themselves either. Doing anything for them is like banging your head with the wall.

You can’t win their trust no matter you kill yourself for them they will not trust you because they don’t themselves first. So, any sacrifice is in any form is useless for them in order to get their attention or support, love or anything else you want in return.

The Antisocial

The narcissists and paranoids along with apaths if not handled with caution they show their real face behind the mask of antisocial behavior.

Be it a Nero or Maselena the emperor or queen of the Roman Empire, Gengez of Mangolian empire, Hitler the German Empire, General Daire of Britain empire, Bush of American Empire, Albaghdadi of ISIS they all just the notorious manifestations of these antisocial behaviors men and women.

However, with the same spirit and souls, the are present in every nation and every country. they have no guilt or shame, sorrow or regret for their victims. They can blow up factories with fire, kill people with suicide bombing, torture, rape, and slaughter just for fun.

The Apaths

Maybe I am the first person who has coined this term. Because online dictionaries and grammar checking software doesn’t recognize this term. If this is the case then let me define this too; I call apath or collectively apaths to those individuals who have silenced their conscience about social apathy.

They feel nothing about other individuals, they are literally numb to other concerns, issues, and problems. They are biological stones in my opinion because they don’t show anything about anyone except themselves.

They call everything in their universal moto; ”it’s not my problem.” They don’t take the responsibility for their social apathy or psychological aloofness. They consider anyone as a threat that comes in their way to satisfy their sinister and nasty wishes.

They have all the characteristics of the Narcissists, paranoids, antisocials and they have this added flavor of apathy in them too which makes them more destructive and dangerous among previous types of toxic people.

Although there is nothing mentioned in Psychology textbooks all across the globe about apaths. However, psychopaths and sociopaths are common themes of toxic people in popular psychology, self-help literature, entertainment, and mass communication platforms.

In my opinion, apaths can be classified further into two categories. The psychopaths and the sociopaths.

The psychopaths

The psychopaths are those people with emotional and psychological apathy towards others in secret, hidden, mysterious, and covertly manner you can call these people slightly lean towards introversion in nature.

All serial killers, rapists, slaughterers, and suicide bombers are in this category of apaths. They have all the characteristics of all the above toxic people.

The sociopaths

These are the opposites of psychopaths. They are those people with social apathy towards others in an overt, open, judgemental, objectionable manner. You can call them extrovert in nature.

All politicians, religious leaders, gangsters, and governmental agencies and their public outlets can be categorized in this category of apaths. They have all the characteristics of all the above toxic people.

The Mr/s perfect

These people know that they can fool all the world all the time. They think that they can implement the one world order, one language, culture, consumer, power, and empire. All the dictators, tyrants, emperors, kings, state representatives, ministers, presidents, and revolutionary leaders fit in these categories.

The represent the rare case for these toxic people that’s why one wisest resistance leader told his followers that friendship or relationship with government is a ride on the wild beast.

You don’t know when they will change their minds. The are apaths but they have worked to stay themselves up the ladder in toxicity and destructiveness. The have the power to destroy nations, races or entire populations of states.

These are certain types of toxic people if you find anything or any behavior resembling these you should seek help and try to change your ways before it is too late to recover emotionally, psychologically, and socially.

Now its time to think about their traps and start to avoid them.

Their traps and how to avoid them

The list here is too lengthy but I try to cover only those which are the most common and which have the potential to destroy your inner peace.

Guilt

The most powerful yet the most destructive weapon in the hands of toxic people is guilt. They will convince you that you and your past is the root of all evils.

And needless to say that neither you can destroy yourself either physically, psychologically, and socially nor you can change your past.

The history is a great teacher, it teaches us about the traps of toxic people either they apply this individually to individual or individuals or apply it to masses.

The guilt force you to abandon your past physically by compensating with immature changes to your physical appearances. You unconsciously try to copy the toxic people to look like them, talk, eat, sleep and enjoy like them.

This doesn’t work in the larger context because you can be a copycat and living original life at the same time either individually or collectively as a nation.

How to avoid this trap?

Remember always your past and history. What you are today just because of your past and history. Never let anyone decide for you to change it or try to interpret it not in alignment with your values and social expectations and reality.

Your past is precious because it makes you, you. You can look up to anyone in their eyes because of your past. You have heroes, villains, great and worst people in your history to look to.

Your language and culture are of value because it makes your social unit. You love and hate in your cultural appropriate ways. You eat, drink and sing in your own language and cultural frameworks so, you must invest time and energy to seek and understand everything.

If you know your, past history, lessons you learned and the future dreams and inspirations no one including these toxic people can steal your happiness by guilt or any other trap you will read next.

Shame

When they try again and again and fail to trap you in guilt, they flip the coin and now they try shaming you personally as a person and society as a society or member of society as a whole. They want you to bend your knees and kneel to them and accept their superiority.

They can expose your inner and private life in public. They can bully you in your workplace, cyberbully you in online platforms in social media too. They need you to beg them for mercy.

How to avoid this trap?

Don’t play in their mind games instead devise your own ground and play with your own game rules. Never give them the satisfaction to see you in misery. Stand still, with neck high, head up and looking into the eyes of those in human people and fight back with legal actions.

National and international legal systems. Never think that you are alone there are countless people who love, care and support you so tap into your out of comfort zone and see the magic happening for you and others.

Never use the same tactics of toxic people because you chose not to be like them. Silence in the face of violence and illegal and unethical individuals, groups and governments is a crime against humanity.

Take courage with you and fight back and don’t terrify from the blurring effects of psychological shocks and traumas remember this time shall pass. You are not the first one and you will not be the last one either. Be a role model and live your life without shame imposed on you by toxic people.

Emotional blackmailing

When they try and fail in using guilt and shame card against you. Now they use the multifacet approach of emotional blackmailing.

They use your emotions against you. They try to misuse your fears, dreams, passions, profession, professionals and legal or social systems to blackmail you.

They can use your family and friends to suffer in order to torture you physically, emotionally, socially, financially and psychologically.

How to avoid this trap?

Don’t lose hope. Stay connected with your emotions and never share it with those who can use it against you. Trust only the trustworthy. Tell only those about your fears and dreams who share with you theirs first.

Disclosure with the untrustful is given a weapon to your enemy to destroy you. Avoid it at all costs. The toxic people are always in search of secrets of your weaknesses and fears and doubts.

Seek help from professional counselors they can help you in this regard and consult legal and law and order systems and local, national or international bodies who can help you to recover your damages.

Happiness highjack

Whenever you are happy you will find these people trying to highjack you with comment, criticism, gossips, backbiting or taking actions to snatch it from your hands. I am speaking about both individually and socially.

How to avoid this trap?

Never ever give anyone permission to destroy your happiness. Never comment back, never try to play their game with their rules. Just stay happy and your happiness will punish them more than any other action.

Smile theft

Whenever you are smiling their first question will be why are you smiling. When you tell them a reason they will start criticizing it and you will stop smiling.

How to avoid this trap?

Remember what the great French writer the Voltaire said. I stay happy because it is good for my health. So, it is good for your health to keep smiling in every situation. It can make miracles happen.

Soul sucking

I have taken this term from The Harry Potter book of J K Rowlings where a wizard would suck souls of ghosts. I used this for a purpose, have you ever seen a person who enters a room or in social gathering and everyone keeps their mouth shut just for the fear of being disgraced.

I am talking about this person, the surround by themselves all the negativity and it disturbs all the balance of friendly and positive energy levels in the room or in the gatherings.

How to avoid this trap?

You have two choices, chose anyone wisely first leave the place immediately or stand with your positive energy while supporting all others which can be a target. Stay safe with your supporting members of the group and don’t start an argument but if it starts to finish it with your own rules.

Gold digging

The gold-diggers are everywhere they find everywhere gold only. For them friendships, relationships and companionship are just bookish concepts. They are just friends with benefits, they will use hit and run strategy. The moment they find gold you will not see them by your side.

How to avoid this trap?

Never give them an opportunity. to dig gold out of your resources. Keep everything safe your wealth statements, resources, income channels, and business secrets. Never brag about your money.

These people only target those where they find gold. While keeping your gold metaphorically safe you are kicking them out of your sight and mind.

Never invest your money and time on those who don’t do so in return.

Energy drainers

They are the real nightmares if you find one run with a marathon speed. They can destroy everything if you give them permission to come into your life. They dilute everything you are up to, their emotional outbursts, their blood, sweat, and tears are just a trap.

They want to play a victim game with you. They will complain about everything and everybody. It doesn’t matter what you want to say or do to them that will be not enough. At the time they will be control freaks, and at times they will take the role of totally dependent.

How to avoid this trap?

The moment you identify the energy drainer your sensor of sensitivity should be activated. In order to stay yourself safe, you must seek others’ support to detach from these toxic people.

Don’t be their doctor, nurse, counselor, friend, spouse, partner or colleague let them find other people for their mind games. You are responsible for yourself first then other people.

Conclusion

This was all about the toxic people and how you can avoid their traps. What do you think about them and their traps? let me know in the comments below…

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Senior writer, author, and researcher at AromaNish, specializing in Psychology with an impact on information technology. As a writer, he writes about business, literature, human psychology, and technology, in blogs and websites for clients and businesses. Enjoys reading, writing and traveling when he is not here with us...