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Self-reflection in post-Covid situations

Self-reflection in post-Covid situations

Sometimes one needs nothing except mental and spiritual freedom from current boredom. The motivational level of a person drops from time to time, and it starts in the early thirties; Once the fancy and desired goals and achievements look ugly and unwanted. The feelings and emotions start settling. The gradual drop of hope and joyous nature starts its decline, and one thinks that they are always after shadows, and shadows are there to mock you and frustrate you with their stagnation. The supplications give you a medium to transfer these frustrations to your inner intelligence and, through it, to your creator.

I have mentioned countless times that if you want to talk to God, step in for supplications, and it’s a challenge in cities where you can’t find places for solitary prayers and supplications. In villages and areas where you can hide from destructive information overload, you can experience paradise on this planet. However, I couldn’t find such a place where I could cry freely and say whatever I had in my heart and soul to the most merciful person who didn’t abandon me despite my wrongdoings.

I am surprised by His mercy and hiding my weaknesses from the eyes of His other creatures. I am thankful for His unconditional love and respect that I don’t deserve. How fortunate I am that I have He who gave me everything that I ever wished and ever wanted to have in my life despite all my disobedience. How ungrateful I am who doesn’t care about the care and mercy of the Almighty. I wish I could go back in time and ask for His mercy as I used to do in my teenage years. I miss the solitude of my supplication and prayer routines. I wish I could reconnect with my past self, who would strive for the connection and link to the Almighty.

I still believe that I can find my inner peace if I succeed in sparing time for my spiritual journey. However, I accept that I am not that powerful now to take the challenge of a free mind with a pure heart to talk to my Lord about his countless blessings despite all my opposition to this practice I used to practice when I was not a resident of this cosmopolitan city. I appreciated the silence of my country and village and its silent nights when I could think calmly about my past, present, and future.

Although I am not hopeless about my current situation, I am desperately searching for the missing part of my heart and soul. I am sure that I will find it no matter what happens before my last breath. I pray for the reconnection of my heart with the Will of God through the last revelation of the last Prophet (PBUH) with the help of his companion’s sermons, letters, and advice. I pray for the revival of my heart and soul before I leave this place for a better place in the hereafter. How powerful is this concept that there is someone who is always beside me no matter how much I disobey Him and His messages?

Please, Lord of this world and hereafter, take me to your desired situations where I can pray and talk to you like I did before. O forgiver of the punishable! Amen.

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