The psychology of friendship is purely based on mutual trust, respect, and unconditional love. Friends with benefits are beyond the scope of this post. Psychology is the study of mental processes, behavior and their mutual relationship.
Friendships are the roots as well as the fruits of this short life. Life is a time set given to everyone who is breathing right now you are reading this post so you are alive. I am writing right now so I am alive too.
Well, you can ask me why I have chosen this topic for today’s post. Let me tell you that the reason behind this is that I am happy because I enjoyed the company of my friends today. I was busy all day with my friends.
They were happy and enjoying their lives and I was too but when we met up with each other when forgetting that what we are now, we were just friends.
We shared our dreams, passions, inspirations, motivations, fears, doubts, worries, uncertainties without any fear of judgment. We were discussing our private lives, our crushes, Gfs, Bfs, and affairs.
Our future planning, decisions, we eat like crazy and we acted bizarrely we hugged we touched and we shared our memories once again. In those eight or nine hours, it seemed like we are in Paradise.
This joy and happiness inspired me to write something about the psychology of Friendship.
As a professional counselor and trained as a social psychologist I have found these basic principles of friendship and now I want to share it with you.
Respect is the first and most important aspect of friendship. I can’t even imagine the friendship without it. Respecting others comes from self-respect.
Those of you who don’t respect themselves will not respect others and without this no friendship can ever flourish. Physical, psychological, emotional, and spiritual attractions fade away once the infatuation period is passed.
Respecting their personal and professional boundaries, information, confidentiality, property and possession, personal and professional commitments, time and space, dignity and integrity are some of the most important aspects of respect.
If you want to ask someone’s friendship first give them respect. Once the realization that you respect them as a person and individual they start trusting you. This is the second most important and basic principle of friendship let’s see it in detail.
The building blocks of friendship, as well as any relationship, is this trust. Without it, no personal or professional friendship can ever flourish. No personal or professional commitment can be approved.
All business and personal activities will cease if the trust is gone. The wise psychologists, philosophers, and theologians have rightly said that “when trust is lost everything is lost”. Trust can’t be developed without a nonjudgmental attitude.
A nonjudgmental attitude is the vital role of friendship. Friends don’t judge you as a person, individual, they don’t discriminate, neither prejudice nor criticize. They have no issues with your color, race, ethnicity, language, region, religion, or social-economic status.
Your weaknesses or disabilities are never discussed, you are respected for who you are as a person rather than your status quo. Your strengths are encouraged and appreciated as well as your friends feel proud of you and your achievements and accomplishments.
Real friends feel happy when you are happy and sad when you are sad. In psychology, we say that friends are the reflection of your true self.
They are your mirrors if you are looking for a true reflection of your life ask your friends they will tell you the actual and the real case which will give you. Let’s see what is joy than.
It is the gift of friendship, respect, trust, and a non-judgmental attitude. Joy is one of the most beautiful feelings in humans as well as other organisms. All addictions are in search of Ecstasy and its search for joy.
The real expression of existence is the feeling of joy. When you get that thing in a relationship stay longer and closer because this is a true friendship. When respect, trust, non-judgmental attitude met joy this becomes a new principle which is happiness.
It is the root of human existence, success, and motivation. When you are happy you can’t hide your true self than because you are not attached to the outcome of your actions. You are free to choose fear or love.
You can select any options for yourself and others. God is with you than when you are happy.
Importance of friendship
The religious narratives guide us about the importance of friends and enemies. The latest version of revelations in the form of the holy Quran significantly lightens this topic.
Statistically out of more than six thousand verses more than 1500 verses are about enemies and friends. Which shows how important it is to God and his messengers, messages and how important it is for our own lives and works.
Sometimes I startle my friends by saying this that the quantity of friendship is not important quality matters more. A common misconception about friendship is that the more you have friends the more you are satisfied with your life and it is not true in light of psychology as well as clinical experience.
Friendships are expected to be fewer than the other way around. Because you can’t give your humanly possible attention span to others at the same time.
If you have fewer friends it means that you are the luckiest person who can give full attention to friends as well as enemies. I leave this discussion for the next post in which I will talk about the psychology of enemies.
Friendship is the only relationship in my opinion which can survive even without communication. However, at the beginning of the friendships communication play a vital role in the development of respect, trust, joy, and happiness.
Without it, no friendship can ever start. Proper communication skills will help you to boost your confidence and will help you to win quality friendships.
I think the most crucial motivator for starting a friendship is loneliness.
We as social animals haven’t mastered our minds, emotions, feelings, and attitudes about life, self, and others. It plays a vital role in our friendship.
This was all about the psychology of friendship first part for now, what do you think let me know in the comments section below.
This post will be updated regularly probably on a monthly basis in the next parts of this series we will discuss further aspects of the psychology of friendships.
The following parts will include but not limited to social support, isolation, rejection, anxiety, fears, doubt, coping, healing, religiosity, life satisfaction, health, mental health, and spirituality.
Stay connected and blessed.